Top 5 Favourite Posts #5 “Stuff Single People Like”

This post from 3 years ago got the most “Hey I liked your blog…” comments from people. Having had 3 more years experience and served as a young adults pastor for two of those years, I would add more to this list. For today, I will keep the post as it was. Enjoy.

We are a funny, predictable bunch us young and single adults. I will belabour to point a few of these predictable patterns out for my readership. Since I’m being stopped on the streets so often these days by well wishers with nothing but compliments on the last post “Stuff Progressive Christians Like,” I thought that it would be quite good to follow it up with another personal berating.

I may preface this with the acknowledgment that it most likely should be titled “Stuff Single Christians Like,” however some points are not so exclusive and so to narrow it down to only Christians would be unjust.

It’s good and healthy to laugh at yourself every now and then. So here is my non exhaustive but perhaps exhausting list of Stuff That Single People Like :

Going to the gym at night. The gym is full of single people between the hours of 7:30PM until closing. While most couples are finding fulfillment in life by watching evening sitcoms, single people are working out in the gym so they can be fit enough to attract that special someone that they can watch sitcoms with.

Young Adults Groups. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you have a cool worship band, a speaker, some communion…ok, just get to the hanging out part so the single young adults can all start meeting the other single people that they scoped out during the service. These “rubberneckers” as I call them, spend half the time looking around to see who showed up that night. These types love the “get to know the people around you” part of the service and can be picked off so easily from the back of any young adults meeting.

Debating The “One Or Many” Question. Is there one person chosen by God out there for us all or many and we just have to choose one that fits with best? One or many? Many or one? Single people love to debate this topic with very strong opinions. At the core of this debate is the lingering question, “Is it my personal choice that I’m single or is it just not the right time for God to bring the “perfect person” for me.

I’m expecting once I find that perfect person she will be standing beside a unicorn at the end of the rainbow. Maybe the Easter Bunny will introduce us to break the ice.

Married people need not debate this question for they have already found “the one” whether they like it or not.

Going For Coffee.

What can I say, it’s a popular place to connect for any population demographic but singles love going for coffee just as much as any. It’s the default invite. “Can we meet for a coffee?” “Wanna grab a coffee?” or the more subtle “We should go for coffee sometime.” A coffee date doesn’t take any planning and there’s probably a place right near where you are.

Even if they don’t drink coffee, single people still love to “go for coffee” which is just a little funny if you ask me.

Going Out After Stuff.

While married people go home to their spouses and do married things, single people go to late night restaurants and order water with a lemon in it. In this crowd there is an unspoken agreement that everyone is there as a mutual support group so they don’t have to go home to Facebook just yet.

Travelling.

Who can afford to just take off for months or a year at a time, spend all their savings to experience new cultures? You guessed it, singles.

You may object, “Married people can go traveling too you know.” Not that I have seen. Married people may take “vacations” or “holidays.” These are two to three week trips with a scheduled return to get home to mortgage payments, commitments, and careers. Realistically, it is tough to pay for two people’s travel costs while away for a long time and who’s going to look after the $400 vaccuum you got as a wedding gift back home? My point is that most likely only single people can be flexible enough to “go travelling.” We’re talking long periods of time in different cultures.

Facebook Albums With Continents As The Title.

Closely connected to the above, it is not uncommon to find a seasoned single with Facebook albums entitled: “Europe.” “Africa.” or “Asia.”

Of course this is a trade off because single people are not afforded the luxury of having the Married People’s favorite Facebook album title, “Our Wedding.”

And of course there are pros and cons to both and each should be celebrated equally.

Making Lists Of Things You Want To Do Before You Die.

Is this one true or what? C’mon now. If you’re single between the age of 22-30ish, chances are you’ve come to the realization, for whatever the reasons, that you may not be among those who get married “early.” Now you have a decision to make; what are you going to do with all your extra time? How are you going to make something of your life now that it’s going to be just you for an indefinite amount of time?

Why not make a list of all the things that you want to do? Besides, once you accomplish these things, it gives you a lot more to talk about when marketing yourself on a date.

Skydiving is very popular on single people’s list.

Graduate Studies.

“Well it didn’t work out the first time around, why not try another couple years?” After all, the crop just gets smarter the more years you stick around.

Volunteering.

I’ve gotten a lot of heat for it but I stand by the argument that the strongest volunteer work force in the world is single people. The statistics do not lie. Want to talk correlations? It is in the opinion of this writer that there is a direct correlation between the passion one possesses for the cause that one is volunteering for and the passion one has for a fellow volunteer. As one goes up, so does the other and vice versa. Just an observation though.

Hobbies.

Instruments, Art, Sports. Single people have time after work to do these “after work” little projects.

Leading Worship.

This one could get me into hot water but let’s talk for a second as rational human beings here. Think about your grassroots, young adult/youth group/church plant worship leaders or worship team members. Single? In my experience, the most die hard, committed leaders (at a grassroots level now) are single.

Sitting in a coffee shop with a laptop.

Is there anything more annoying (hyperbole noted) than walking into a coffee shop wanting to have a sensible conversation with a friend or friends, getting a coffee and then trying to find a spot only to find every table is taken up with an infestation of single people on their laptops? I guess, in defense, it’s either at home or there. Why not there? The coffee is much better and they keep the bathrooms clean.

Can they not at least double up at a table? Is that not the intention anyway?

Besides, at a coffee shop, single people will break whatever they’re doing every ten minutes to stare over their screen and peruse the cafe to see if their future spouse has entered yet. Not yet? Maybe in another ten minutes then.

B#tching About The Opposite Sex.

It’s usually the single people who are the most vocal about their grievances with the other gender. Maybe the problem isn’t the 3 billion people you find emnity with but could actually be staring at you in the nearest mirror? That’s where I found the problem. Just a thought though.

Talking About Relationships.

Why is it that the people who are not in relationships feel like they have the most to say on said topic? Single people should instead devote their social time to discussing their graduate studies, favorite places they’ve traveled to or their lists of things they’re going to do before they die. Now there’s a forum where you can bring something to the table.

He’s Not That Into You.

A great book that couples will pass over in favour of Gary Smalley’s latest hardcover. For singles, however, He’s Not That Into You explains a lot. A good read for singles in both genders alike. I think 95% of all problems girls have with guys can be summarized in one line, “He’s Just Not That Into You.”

Playing Video Games.

According to a study by Phd Larry D. Rosen , the average young adult plays one hour of video games per day. I think single guys bring the average up while the rest of the population moderates it to make the statistic less dramatic. In a relationship, there’s a lot less time and there is accountability for whatever time is left over.

When a woman is in the picture, a boy must be ready to graduate into manhood, and should willingly hang up his controller.

Hanging Out With The Guys/Girls.

There is a negative correlation between time in a relationship and the amount of same sex hang out time one has. The single person has all sorts of time for their buddies but in a relationship, that time is quickly chewed up and swallowed, yea verily, it is engulfed. Single friends need to understand their role in another single friend’s life is more like a steward. You’re there to have fun and help kill time until that Mr./Mrs. Right person comes around for them in which case they need to be blessedly (not grudgingly) released to the world of Couplehood. The friendship is then put on hold until the other friend gets in a relationship. As soon as a double date or setup can be arranged the estranged buddies can now reengage the friendship and it can begin to grow again.

This is all very tongue in cheek of course.

Blogging.

Who has time to blog when you have to watch movies and sitcoms all the time? Again, mere pragmatism.

That’s all for now.